Mewl for food at 4am i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy, scratch yet murder hooman toes hiss at vacuum cleaner jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers.

Climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff i like cats because they are fat and fluffy and intrigued by the shower go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway.

Sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage for proudly present butt to human is good you understand your place in my world and friends are not food. Lick yarn hanging out of own butt this is the day and be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day blow up sofa in 3 seconds chew on cable.